I was on a call tonight where several white women were commenting on how they were afraid of offending black people or saying the wrong thing, and that it can be so uncomfortable to speak up, to pull up.
Your discomfort is what is required though. It took folks being uncomfortable for me to have my basic rights protected so that I can simply BE as a black queer woman. And there's still such a long way to go.
So my initial feelings were disappointment, frustration, sadness, self-righteousness. There was some compassion but honestly not much in that moment.
I kept listening, suspending my judgment for a bit b/c it felt reactionary…
As I listened, I remembered that white people who want to dismantle racism/white supremacy don’t have the embodied, lived experience of being black in this country. Some may not have any intimate relationships with black people for varied reasons.
Black people have been having these conversations already, navigating this reality for a loooong time to varying degrees.
But for many, this level of acknowledgment and personal inquiry is new and intimidating. It requires humility and courage and a deep commitment to Love, peace and justice.
What I heard on the call is that some were ready to be uncomfortable, are doing the work, and are not collapsing around fragility.
I heard good intentions and sincere hearts.
We ALL need compassion. This ain’t easy, and we’ve all been swimming in these waters.
There are also those forces committed to greed, hatred and delusion, profiting from it. There’s that.
As we each do our personal, collective, and systemic work let’s allow each other to make mistakes, learn and then, with sincere intention, do better. I’ve been learning something new every day this week - about my own internalized biases, about the history of the movement, about the history of this country…
I’ll do my imperfect best. That’s what I ask from you.
“Everything moves at the speed of relationships.” - Alicia Garza (https://aliciagarza.com/)
Why L2YL Coaching
Living and working in alignment with my deepest values and intentions is my daily practice; helping women and the organizations that employ them THRIVE by offering a proven mindset management model to embody values and achieve transformational goals is my life's work.